Friday, October 12, 2012

Shop till you drop!

There was a riot of colours at home; her room looked like a wholesale shop, with things ranging from glittering bowls, cosmetics, clothes to shoes arranged in neat boxes. The bedroom looked like a waiting room, with suitcases and air bags ready to be stuffed, tortured and dragged. The house was abuzz with discussions and planning; phones rang incessantly; congratulatory messages were aplenty.
It was wedding time!!
What is the biggest and most vital episode in a wedding drama? Shopping! Most popular assumption- shopping is timepass. Right? Wrong! Try shopping for your own wedding and you’ll realize it’s more of a science. There, I said it. Yes, shopping, science #samething (yeah, yeah all you twitter addicts, I know this is gonna make you happy). It requires dedication, research, knowledge and most importantly, hard work. Lots of it.
It’s not easy, you see. Sitting on a couch, flipping channels, munching on chips, you got to pay attention to what every woman on screen is wearing. And not just what she’s wearing, you also got to observe what she’s not wearing! That’s how you get the trends right. Make a mental list of what is in rage and what’s not. I know, that is tiring enough, but we have just begun!
Research. Sitting on the same couch, or on a different one if you want, fire up your laptop, or your pc, let teen sensation Google help you with your heavy-duty research. Figure out where you can get clothes and accessories from. What kind of cuts, colours and fabrics suit your body type, and what kind of accessories would enhance the look and blah blah. Phew!
She took notes, and made a list.
Research – check.
Shopping list - check.
Shopping roadmap – check.
Budget – check.
Friends’ schedule – check.
Off she went for what she assumed would be fun. Little did she know what awaited her! By the time she reached destination market, she was half dead, and by the time she was done, umm, well, let’s not even get there.
The most difficult part was finding stuff that would fit the bill of being perfect. Yes, girls are obsessed with perfection, and anything that is even one percent shy of perfection, is rejected mercilessly (reminds me of the bournville ad). Once she zeroed in on what she wanted to buy, she began her bargaining ordeal. She bargained till her cheeks turned crimson, but she didn’t stop till the shopkeeper’s cheeks followed suit. The deal was sealed and its ‘fruits’ came in bags. Big ones.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), none of her friends had free time, so it was her poor mother who had to endure the bride’s ‘shop till you drop’ plan.
The roads were dusty, the sun was shining with all its glory (and heat), and to top it all, auto guys were acting pricey. Bargaining is every girl’s right, so bumping into that God-sent auto could have been very well the plot for the next Mission Impossible! The dragged the heavy bags, every part of the mother-daughter duo screaming in pain. By the time they reached home, they looked like coolies, and were smelling like one too.
And yes, just like Ekta Kapoor’s ‘K’ soaps, the shopping spree was to continue for weeks to come!
Tip: If you’re getting married and you totally want to skip the shopping part (does that sound insane?), try online portals. Save energy, save time. No, you can’t save money, just in case you were thinking I would write that next. :D

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


*Failures are the pillars of success*



Failures are not pillars of success. Failures are…bloody failures.

10-year-old Kshitij failed in his maths paper. He was shitting bricks, terrified of what would happen once he would get back home; once his ‘how-the-hell-did-you-not-get-full-marks’ mother would open the dreaded sheet of paper, and…YELL, of course, if he’s lucky. And if he’s not, flog him, as well.

The thought for the day, written on the blackboard in neat, block letters commanded his attention. “Failures are…” it said. The face stiffened with fright eased into a smile radiating relief. “Of, course,” the duped kid thought.

But, things don’t happen we want them to happen, do they? Kshitij realized, what his teacher had told him about failures being the pillars of blah blah was just truckloads of shit.

Sachin Tendulkar, dubbed as the God of cricket hasn’t been spared either. Wonder how many tongues wagged, writing him off, when the milestone ton of tons eluded him? When he failed to bring up the much coveted figure time and again, why wouldn’t the world fall back on the one saying that’s almost always used to console someone who’s failed? Why?
You know why?

I do.

Because failures aren’t the pillars of success. Failures are…bloody failures.

The next time, someone tells you, you’ve FAILED in something, don’t fall back on the lame saying. Wake up. You’ve failed. Yes, there is time to correct yourself. But, you can never shake off the failure tag dangling around your neck.

You fail to complete a project on time, you fail to clean your room, you fail in an exam, you fail to please people, you fail in this, and then, you fail in that too.

Bloody failures. They are everywhere. Has anyone of them become a pillar? Yes, maybe pillars of failures. Nothing more, nothing less. Bloody failures.