Wednesday, March 31, 2010

To Be Or Not To Be.....

I wonder why can’t we switch between being mature and responsible, and being a child, as per our wishes. One moment be an adult, the very next moment, think like a child! How convenient it would have been to have a role reversal, every time the dire necessity arose. To hide behind the veil of an incessantly deceptive mode of thinking, to steer clear of all troubles and controversies!

But that is, primarily, not the sole reason. Letting the passive child in you wake up and rekindle emotions in you that had been lying dormant for a long time; engaging in activities that would thrill you, something that you would never imagine in your wildest dreams as an adult.

Although that would be a refreshing change, yet it cannot be implemented in our lives every time, owing to practical difficulties. Imagine yourself, behaving like a toddler in the midst of an extremely significant meeting!! You would make all heads turn, for all the wrong reasons of course!!! One can’t possibly rationalise wearing the thinking cap of a child, while handling sticky situations; while one is in a soup, for if one does do, one has to be prepared to drown in the soup he or she is already in!!!

It therefore, becomes inevitable to switch on and off the infant mode. A person who can master this art can be assured of bliss and unearthly happiness!! But that brings us to the most difficult part: how do we know when to swap. Once that riddle is solved, things would perhaps fall in the right places. Life would be a blessing then! Till then, one can only contemplate…To Be Or Not To Be..

The Night That Was................

TSJ has made us maniacs. Insomniacs for sure! It is indeed surprising, how one sleepless night can change our entire system and routine forever. We are now accustomed to a life, where we end up dozing off at all the wrong places with the worst timing possible!

Last night, me and my roomies were battling with the consequences of being insomniac. Gossiping and chatting about God knows what. Girls' gossip is funny; intriguing to be precise. It's kinda amusing the way girls can hop about from one topic to the other like a kangaroo. Beginning with a topic related to family, we swiftly digressed to relationships and black magic, taking us to the topic that sent shivers down our spines: ghosts and spirits.

A pin-drop silence enveloped us; we could here the clock go tick-tock. When the dogs started howling, we had our hearts in our mouths and we clung together, trying to overcome the fright that had gripped us; each trying to put up a brave face.

None of us had the guts to sleep alone. Me and my roomie were trying in vain to travel into the world of sleep. But thanks to the acupuncture that the mosquitoes obliged me with, along with a complementary melody in my ears, my night (erm...wee hours) was ruined! I was sleepy, but I was preoccupied with combating the bites and the heat which made me feel as if i was being baked in an oven!!

Fortunately though, my "lead-laden" eyelids drooped, till they could no longer stay apart. I fell asleep!! But a few minutes of heavenly sleep was disrupted because of an unexpected and unwarranted visitor: a helpless and dumb pigeon that had made its way through the window, and didn't know how to go back! It was stuck with us and we were stuck with it! After some time of efforts that totally went down the drain, we hit the sack again, only to be woken up by our "super bai", who managed to help the poor thing find its way back!

With nothing else to disrupt our sleep, we slipped into a reverie, deep and relaxing! I was violently jolted from by blissful slumber when I realized that it was 9.30 in the morning! All I could manage to mumble was "F@#$, I am Screwed!!" Boomeranging in room, trying to look presentable, spraying talcum powder all over the room, I managed to reach college, one and a half hours late! The rest, as they say, is history!! :)

The Battle Within......

When the mind is ripped apart, when rationality quivers; when indecisiveness could probably describe the state of mind; when there is a storm surging within. That is when contemplation becomes the last thing possible.A split second robs people of all the positivity and cheerfulness. The struggle to bridge the gap between emotions and practicality continues. What is it that can have a calming and pacifying effect? A question, the answer to which can be the key to unlock the door to an utopian world. The consequential brooding over things leads to whole new world of self introspection, bringing to the limelight things unknown; both about ourselves and the people around.

Moments of this sort lead to a seemingly automatic unravelling of the remedies of the disease called impulsiveness. Gazing at the sky, counting stars, gripped by the beauty of the "silver sphere", being with oneself, solitary, away from the bustling of the world morose does help. Engaging in a conversation with the inner self, procuring answers to questions unasked, takes you on a journey within yourself. A journey, where the "Me" and "I" merge into a single entity; something that is impossible in the real world. In the concrete jungle that the world has become, people arel split selves....they endeavour to mask themselves; camouflage their real identity. That is when retrospection plays a vital role.....introducing people to their real selves...breaking the shackles of being someone they are not.

The "Royal" Taste of Victory

If anything could fit in the bill of "cruising to victory" perfectly, it could only be RCB's commanding triumph over the Kings, now turned paupers by the excruciating defeat. Displaying commendable composure, despite the mammoth target posted on the board, the Challengers came onto the field, brimming with confidence and with a hunger to win. The cameo by Pandey was built up by Uthappa, who came in at no. 3, smashing the ball towards every direction of the park. His swashbuckling innings was peppered with artistic and innovative shots, taking him to an amazingly well made half-century, which came off just 19 balls. At the other end was the veteran Kallis, who swept away everyone off their feet with his charismatic 89. With Uthappa wielding his bat around like a weapon on fire, it was raining fours and sixes, maintaining the required run rate at an attainable level. The Punjab bowling attack was bulldozed, with the stands bombarded with sixes, high and handsome. The fiery batting by the Challengers left the Punjab bowlers fretting and fuming, in search of new devices to put a lid on the scoring. With the Challengers sniffing a victory and on the kill, the "kings" went into a defensive shell, struggling to wear an attitude of tranquillity. The giant target of 200+ was dealt with in a professional manner, which made the victory look like a cake-walk. The match brought alive the Chinnaswamy Stadium, with the crowd rooting and cheering for the home team and the local lad, who came, demolished the opposition and left. While the spectators got their money's worth, one could not help but notice Priety's dimpled smile, fading at the sight of her butchered boys, gasping for breath!! One fading, dimpled smile was compensated by another one, on the pretty face of Deepika Padukone, whose face beamed with one, every time the Challengers sent the ball across the ropes!! That is what is called a "Royal" victory, a perfect New Year gift for the Kannadigas. So ladies and gentlemen, let the trumpets blow, let the drums beat, let the fireworks begin, for the "Royal Challengers" have arrived! "Don't Mess With Us" is the message....we are Game for More!! Cheers!!:)

The Mind, Body and Soul, Rejuvenated.......

A walk down a narrow path, soothed by the shade of the trees, while the rest of city was reeling under the torrid spell of the sun. Although there was a storm raging inside my head, yet I could feel the calmness of the atmosphere seeping into my soul. With a glassful of freshly squeezed orange juice to refresh, a group of friends to keep the spirits high, and the expectations of an evening to be enjoyed, the level of my excitement knew no bounds.

Walking barefoot on the green grass invokes different emotions in different people. For some, the passive child in them is reborn, with their instincts urging them to roll on the grass and have a gala time. For me, green grass below my feet and a clear blue sky above my head seemed ethereal. A strange sense of being free, was flowing through my veins. I felt light. I had no baggage of work on my shoulders. I had no grievances.

My mind was at peace. It was serene. Gazing at the sky, I realized that the poems on nature, reading which seemed to be a futile exercise, had truth in them. Man tends to be away from all the miseries of life when in Nature's Lap. A soft tune playing in the background, in the company of people whom I like, I felt shielded; as if nothing evil could penetrate through the invisible wall and harm me.

The past few days had drained me out completely, I had the feeling of being chained. This outing to Raj Ghat, however, broke all the chains that i felt tied to; relieved me of the burden that was bogging me down. I felt refreshed. The aura of the place enchanted me, egged me to stay on, and soak in all the postivity it had to offer. It purged me of all the negativity that was building up inside me.

As I left the place, I felt comfortable in my skin. I had managed to let go of the anger and frustration in me. I left behind all the silly fights, politics, vindictiveness and manipulations. I was happy. Rejuvenated. And all the credit goes to Sandy for planning this outing. Thanks Sandy. You made my day, a day well spent!!

Reinstating My Belief

Surviving eight months of Delhi has helped me test numerous shades of my character; some known, some brought to the fore by the erosions of time. Facets, which I had tried hard to supress; habits which didn't die, but resurfaced with a greater intensity. From being a bubbly and inquisitive student, to being a silent spectator in class, Delhi has brought out the extremities in me. Fortunately though, some habits die hard. Clinging on to my values, and trusting my instincts has helped me a lot to cruise (erm..not really) through this journey. But more than anything else, the support of a handful of friends has made all the torture bearable. Warmth. Understanding. Support. Love. Affection. Concern. Protectiveness. These were all attributes I thought would be tough to find. It is indeed surprising that I have come across some people, even though only a few of them, who have demonstrated all these qualities, and have made my stay in Delhi worth while. Anger is a quality of mine, which is harmful for my health as well for those around me! Calming me down and pacifying me, helping me gulp bitter things down, with a pinch of sugar is a tremendous feat that these people have achieved. They have protected me, recreating the same cocoon that my parents had sheltered me inside. Thanking them a thousand times wouldn't probably suffice. Someone once said, "Dilli kuch nahi deti hain..par leti zaroor hain: humaari maasoomiyat" True. But some people are blessed to be gifted with such amazing friends, that too, by a city as hostile as Delhi! Thank you, thank you so much people, for keeping my belief in friendship intact! :)