I Miss Her…

I miss her. Her vivacious energy, her-never-say-die attitude, her ever smiling face...I miss her. Her city never slept, never took it easy; neither did she. She ran behind buses, traveled to pockets tucked deep into the city, all on her own, without a twitch on her face. Sometimes, I felt she was stone-hearted, cold, indifferent...but that’s the way she was. That gave her strength, helped her move on, without clinging to things that would dissolve her from within. She was a strong woman. I miss her…

I sit here, with practically nothing productive to do. I sit here, with no deadlines pushing me to give it my best shot. I sit here, watching others work, the brows closing in together. I sit here, missing her.

She was me. I was her. She’s gone now, probably never to return. I left her when I left the city. I left a part of me. I miss her, I want to be her, I ache to be her. But she’s gone. And now, I can only miss her.